i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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