You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
