There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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