sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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