you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
