i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
