Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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