If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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