I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
