he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
