I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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