Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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