I wish I could punch you in the face.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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