Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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