its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
