Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
