I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
