i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
is it fun? or sober?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
