To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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