the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
