her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
