Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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