I wanna bring you to show and tell
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
