If i could tip my vagina, i would.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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