Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
