OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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