You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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