I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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