hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He shit in the fireplace
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
