Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
