I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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