I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
