Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
