i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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