He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
