its not stalking. its research.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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