In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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