she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
