You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
