Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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