I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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