I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
