let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
