grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
sarcasm needs its own font
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
