I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
