$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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