Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
