I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
