She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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