Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
