Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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