Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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