Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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