elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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