i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
